Friday, October 7, 2011

Such is my life!

Many of you know, some of you do not know, our house sits on 6 acres. We have plenty of woods, fence and room to run. Along with all of that space comes the ability to own multiple animals! My husband is in charge of the animals. Granted neither of us grew up on farms. He grew up on the South side of Springfield in a neighborhood, I grew up in a 'farm town', but only on 1 acre with a cat or a dog. Everything we have learned about 'farm' animals, we have learned from experience!

We have on our 6 acres; 2 goats, 1 miniature horse, 10 chickens, 1 cat and 1 calf. Yes, all very interesting and they all serve a purpose, or Justin would not allow them to take up residency on our land. He has been wanting a cow for years. I finally broke down and agreed. Now that he has a cow, he wanted a pig! I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH A PIG, NOR DO I WANT IT ON OUR PROPERTY! They stink, they root and they destroy. I don't care that a pig will eat all of your table scraps...I don't want one!

Conveniently, his brother bought 2 little pigs, but can only keep 1. Guess who has the one he just couldn't keep...that's right! US! So last week we drove to Niangua for our Nephew's birthday party, knowing that on the ride home we would have an extra passenger. Mind you we drive a Mazda Tribute, medium size SUV. While partying, my brother-in-law says to me 'sooo, the pig MIGHT have a friend riding home with him'. My reply - 'what kind of friend? Is it living and breathing?' B.-in-Law ''s for Justin's's a Turkey and it's big enough to eat as soon as you want!' WELL THAT'S CONSOLATION!

2 hours later packed in the back of our SUV is a large dog carrier and a plastic tote. Large dog carrier contains the turkey, plastic tote with holes contains the pig. We set off for home, a turkey, a pig, Aubrey, Justin and I. My nausea of pregnancy has let up, but probably not enough for a 45 minute ride with 2 farm animals in the back! We made it to Springfield, intermittently rolling windows up and down for a breath of fresh air now and then. I was feeling pretty good. 15 min from home I assured Justin I was feeling ok, but he didn't need to take any sweet time driving.

About that time this HORRENDOUS, PUNGENT, TERRIBLE, BREATH-TAKING odor OVER TOOK ALL OF US! I said 'but whatever THAT was, I CAN'T HANDLE!' Evidently, when birds get nervous, they poop... A LOT! Thus the turkey in the back POOPED something AWFUL! We needed a gas mask! But unfortunately, our car is NOT equipped for that! I WAS IRATE! Mad at the whole situation, mad that we actually have room for all of these ridiculous animals! (even though Justin does all of the work) And then, the situation just turned funny. All we could do was laugh! The mix of the smell and laughing ourselves to tears, brought Justin screeching to a halt on the side of the highway. He jumped out and lost everything he just ate at the birthday party! Upon witnessing this, Aubrey pipes up from the back seat 'mama, i think I'm going to throw up!' I said 'no honey, no one else is throwing up, pinch your nose shut and breath through your mouth!'. OF ALL PEOPLE I, THE ONE WITH CHILD SHOULD BE TOSSING MY COOKIES! But I think my adrenaline was running rampant and I didn't feel the need. SOMEONE had to stay strong!

Needless to say, we flew into the drive way, hands on the door handles and as soon as the car stopped, we all piled out like the car was filled with a nest of bees!

Yes, the Turkey and Pig are living happily at our home. Hopefully the Turkey will be Thanksgiving feast! And one day, the pig will be in my freezer! Do I think it will be hard and sad to eat these beasts? NO WAY!

Such is my life!